Do You Have What It Takes To Be a Mean Mom?

“I can’t go? You’re the meanest mom EVER! I wish I lived at Jamie’s house!” When you hear that exclamation, (along with the sound of a slamming door), do you clutch your heart with guilt? Do you wonder what you did wrong to fail so miserably as a parent? If so, pay close attention to what I’m about to say.

According to a renowned, respected researcher, if you feel guilty about incidents like this, you have failed your child. According to this researcher, a successful mom is a Mean Mom. Now, wait a minute, you might object. He didn’t say that, did he?

The researcher, Abraham Maslow, introduced a theory in 1943 in a paper called A Theory of Human Motivation. He identified a hierarchy of human needs that must be met, in sequential order, to reach full maturity, or what he named self-actualization. This theory has been accepted and adopted throughout the world and has earned him the title Father of Humanistic Psychology.

The hierarchy consists of five levels. If we are not provided the critical needs of each level, we cannot progress effectively to the next one, thus interrupting the process of becoming a fully mature adult. The levels differentiated by Maslow are:

Physiological – food, water, shelter
Safety - security
Love, Affection –belonging
Self-esteem – confidence and value
Self-actualization – ability to find your passion

Wait, not one of those levels says to be a Mean Mom. Actually, one does. Can you guess which one?

Send a comment to the blog if you know the answer. Check the website meammomsclub.com, link on the left, to read the full article and learn the answer.

It's not easy being me - a mean mom

I was not a June Cleaver mom. And I suspect none of you are either. And that's a GOOD thing!
What we need is not a string a pearls as we happily clean up after everybody. What we need is a set of rules that will help us take charge and be the parent our kids need. Our goal as moms is to raise responsible, compasionate kids who will some day move out & take care of themselves, not "gimme" entitlement kids who expect to be provided everything and then some. By the time they leave, and we DO want them to leave, they need to be able to take care of themselves. If we don't teach them how to do that, they will not be able to make it out there on their own.

Sometimes that teaching requires being tough and sometimes it requires being downright "mean". We're not here to be their friends. But at the same time we don't want to always be the bad guy either. The trick is to balance the two.

What are some of the things you do in your household to balance the roles of dear mommy & mommy dearest?